2018 Tweets - An Explanation

I joined Twitter at the beginning of 2009 and had made a summary of the best Tweets from that year under the title Primary Tweets. I did the same again for the year 2010 under the title Ten Tweets, in 2011 as 3rd Year Tweets, 2012 as Tweety Twelve, 2013 as Thirteen Tweets, 2014 as Twitter 14, 2015 as 2015 Tweets and in 2016 under the title Twitter Break, because I had a bit of a break. In 2017 the article was called Half Hearted. Now, for my Tweets of 2018 it is entitled The Beginning of Antisocial Media: My Twitter Story of 2018. Perhaps the break in 2016 should have been more permanent? You decide.

Although fairly comprehensive this is not a complete reposting of every Tweet and Twitter interaction that year. You will need to visit my @vinceunlimited Twitter Feed to get absolutely everything including the conversation replies.

Finally, for those without the time on their hands to read the whole story I have also created a 'Best of 2018 Tweets'.

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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.325 29 Oct 2021

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Best Tweets of 2018 - The Beginning of Antisocial Media: My Twitter Story of 2018

Ten Best Tweets from 2018

For those of you that just like the best of the best I have curated this list of my top ten best Tweets from 2018. Based on my own choice, not based on view numbers, likes, comments or retweets. All in no significant order other than date of posting.

Got a rescue dog. He keeps bringing me apples. I think he used to be a teacher’s pet
Stephen Hawking’s Cookery Book, A Brief History Of Thyme, wasn’t his best seller
The U.K. has carried out air strikes. What has the air done to deserve this?
A mate of mine told me he had an f in maths. Which explains why he failed his English
I'm suffering from adjective amnesia. I just can't describe how it feels
There’s a 12.7% chance you won’t believe this statistic
Started reading the instructions on my old Superglue bottle. Now I just can’t put it down
It’s #flyingantday
And I forgot to get a card
Searched #Clintons
The U.K. Government and the opposition keep arguing about the way to end austerity. Allow me to assist. It’s quite simple. The way to end austerity is with a y
Things in shops without descriptions are priceless

Have I picked the ten best from 2018? If you want to know the full story of my Tweets in 2018 just scroll down.

Author: Vince Poynter
Curated: Version 5.325 29 Oct 2021
First Published: On Twitter during 2018

The Beginning of Antisocial Media - My Twitter Story of 2018

The further time moves on the more accurately one can judge history so summarising a period of past tweeting can only be done clearly several years later. The potential downside to this is that it is tempting to read content with greater hindsight than was available at the time. It's 2021 but this article is about my Twitter content in 2018 and I am already seeing that amongst the general silliness and contemporary social commentary 2018 may have been the year that Social Media itself, or at least my experience of it mainly through Twitter, started altering for the worse. However I admit that I did not necessarily see this as clearly at the time despite predicting and naming the downfall in a post made in mid August.

The end of the previous year saw the word Fake News listed as word of the year by the American Dialect Society and Collins English Dictionary. Ironic that it is a fake word given that it is actually two words. In 2018 Oxford Languages would eventually award the term Toxic as their word of the year with Gammon as a contender. Clearly SM posts were helping to drive this vitriol and helping to turn a previously friendly discord and banter on platforms into an aggressive verbal tirade at the shortest opportunity.

This new attitude was partly politically driven by the appointment in the United States of Donald Trump as President in 2017 and his growing divisive policies based on falsehoods, exaggeration and self interests plus the realities of Brexit in the UK along with an ineffective Prime Minister in Theresa May and even weaker opposition leader in Jeremy Corbyn, who was actively propped up by a vociferous, determined and single minded support base who were not representative of the majority of the party.

However my 2018 posts could hardly be cited as a reason for this tidal change partly because I tend to avoid unpleasant and highly charged subjects and also because they were virtually all original tweets, not usually borne from replies to others or simple re-tweets much in the vein of my style to date. In fact the vitriol that I refer to above seems to come mainly from replies, retorts and counter arguments within comments to original posts. Original commentary posts by individuals don't usually directly or deliberately incite hatred, even if they sometimes post thoughts on a possibly controversial subject for discussion which then gets misinterpreted by an ignorant, wilful or malicious respondent.

As a result of all my original content posting I have touched upon many varied stories occurring during the year including the Beast from the East and Snowmaggedon; the Russian Salisbury poisoning and general state hacking; being knowingly blocked on Twitter for the first time due to a misunderstanding over Echo Chamber etiquette; the delete FaceBook campaign; my Norwegian cruise; the marriage of Prince Harry to Meghan Markle; the summer World Cup; Californian wildfires and Brexit deal failures. Plus all the intertwined characteristic silliness, humour and daft commentary of course.

So what lies below is the best of my Tweets from 2018, listed as they were published, unedited in all their glory? All the entries posted below are [mostly] exactly as they were posted online contemporaneously, without rechecking spelling, grammatical corrections or censure, due to a desire to maintain historical accuracy. However I have added an odd explanatory [word, letter or sentence] to make sense of some situations as they appeared at the time.

1 January 18

It’s only bloody 2018! How did that happen? [Notwithstanding the obvious fact it was 2017 just previously]
I’ve received pressure lately to join and use something called #WhatsApp from those I can only describe as young people. Is there an ointment I can administer to stop such a thing re-occurring?
[Following Google’s latest front page search logo showing a sun[set] between the words GO and GLE]

I see #Google are celebrating the #NewYear with a bit of advertising for the #MercedesBenz GLE range
I posted a modest photo on #Instagram. In fairness it was of some #Food & checked a day later. Amazingly it didn’t receive a single LIKE. This never happens, ever. I can only conclude Instagram is broke. Maybe I’ll try again. Perhaps with a picture that is slightly out of focus

2 January 18

My wife has booked us on a #fjords cruise on #QueenVictoria in May. I am very amused. Expect photos

3 January 18

To all those leaders currently going on about your buttons- Zip it
#KimJongUn #DonaldTrump #NuclearButton #Nuclear

4 January 18

Missing your parrot in Southampton? Just seen one struggling to fly in Allington Lane. Not a Norwegian Blue. RT to find owner
My #WordPress site is getting so much attention. I’ve never been so swamped with #Likes but as this is new territory for me I am not sure what to do with them all. Should I bag them up and take them to the Post Office or something?

5 January 18

I announce I am hungry and within 20 minutes get half a #Cadbury #Twirl from my misses. And people wonder why some marriages last over 30 years
Does this now mean I can make cheap calls direct to Russia? #intelbug
And why is #Apple caught up in the #intelbug fiasco? I thought my iPhone X had an A11 chip designed in Cupertino

11 January 18

A poll

0% - Always take part in polls 

0% - Never take part in polls

0 - votes

Final results

15 January 18

Someone is going to have to start negotiations on the failed #Carillion contracts and start taking on many more employees. Step forward Bob The Builder

16 January 18

Breaking #news @ITV #gmb being duped into free advertising for #Iceland
Trail: Iceland first to drop plastic waste
Truth: Within 5 years (by which time all will be like this). And only on own brand
Duped into doing free advertising include @piersmorgan and @susannareid100

17 January 18

If we take up Donald Tusk’s Europe offer for us to just forget the whole #Brexit thing we shall be Royally shafted. Sorry, Federally shafted
I’m looking forward to seeing the new updated #BayeuxTapestry featuring updated stitching showing the high speed rail journey across France and the inevitable transfer to a replacement bus service in England

18 January 18

A plastic bag has set a new local speed record as #winds reach 77mph on the Isle of Wight
It’s #WinnieThePoohDay every day

21 January 18

There’s a label in my underpants that says keep away from fire and flames.
Thank goodness for that advice. I shall update my plans for the day

31 January 18

Got a rescue dog. He keeps bringing me apples. I think he used to be a teacher’s pet

4 February 18

Looking at Twitter’s ‘Who To Follow’ recommendations I guess I’m in your timeline with The Dalai Lama, General Noriega and a potato

7 February 18

[Following the launch of a SpaceX rocket with a Tesla car onboard, bound for earth orbit]
“Hello. Mars to Earth calling. It seems someone has dropped off a #Tesla. No paperwork with it. Can you confirm the recipient please?”

10 February 18

Shopping malls. Have some fun. Do a tannoy announcement “OK Google, call my mum”

13 February 18

Why does the @BBCNews report the profession of the two men in the Grand Canyon helicopter crash but not what their girlfriends do? Do female professions not matter? The BBC continues to discriminate #bbcnews #GrandCanyon #helicopter
Is there anything more pointless than Julian Assange’s coat?

18 February 18

Watching the #BAFTAs and wondering why all these professional actors, used to working with boom mics and sound engineers, feel the need to stoop to the stage microphone

23 February 18

I’d love to see some crossover winter sports. For instance, who wouldn’t want to see the bobsled run being raced on by the curlers on their one slippy shoe? #WinterOlympics #bobsleigh @BBCOlympics

26 February 18

Weather getting colder in the UK. As it’s a Siberian front it’s called the #BeastFromTheEast
Is Russia hacking our weather now?
#uksnow Pah! I’ve seen more flakes on bald men with dandruff

1 March 18

So, Russia’s President Putin is boasting about his super speedy nukes. Why? He could just hack the the West’s weapons and turn them on themselves. Couldn’t he?

3 March 18

[I tweeted a screen grab from WordPress showing zero views, zero visitors and two likes during the past week]
My #WordPress stats so far for today. No one views but still got 2 likes.
If you enjoy liking stuff but can’t be bothered with all that reading malarkey you are most welcome here https://vinceunlimited.wordpress.com/
The #Army has been called on during the #uksnow #Snowmageddon
Next up comes the meltwaters so I guess the #Navy is on standby ready to help
Pinned Tweet

11 March 18

It’s no good I’m going to have to stop [insert what you are doing] and get on with [insert what you should be doing] instead #TemplatesForTheBusy
Oh no. [insert name of recently deceased celebrity] has died. I saw/met/spoke to/bumped into them once [delete as applicable] I’m devastated/sad/lost for words [delete as applicable]. Feel for me
Happy Mother’s Day/Mothering Sunday [delete as applicable] You are the best Mum in the world/Universe/Street [delete as applicable]

13 March 18

Dear Mrs May,
If we are about to get into an internet blocking spat with the Russians can you let me know first so I can back up my hard drive. Thanks, Vince

14 March 18

Stephen Hawking’s Cookery Book, A Brief History Of Thyme, wasn’t his best seller
Britain expels 23 Russian Diplomats. They have a week to stack themselves together, from the smallest to the largest, and then leave
Dear Prince William,
Sorry that you cannot now go to see England in the World Cup games.
As you no longer need them can I have your tickets?
Thanks, Vince

20 March 18

There are so many choosing to #DeleteFacebook that I may consider start using it again.
Without all the numpties on there, who never really got what it was all about, could it become cool?
[Anthony McPartlin, a popular TV presenter with his lifelong presenting partner Declan Donnelly, a duo known as Ant & Dec, was involved in a car crash, apparently whilst he was suffering from alcohol issues. As a result his planned live TV schedules were affected. Due to his popularity many were commenting on the story]
So, #ITV changes schedule following #antmcpartlin crash. Fast and Furious. Take Me Out. A bit insensitive surely?

24 March 18

Come on you Reds! #BoatRace2018

25 March 18

[The Ant & Dec story was still running, it had affected their Saturday Night programme and Declan Donnelly had to present on his own]
Didn’t see it. How did Blank & Dec get on yesterday?
Entertaining myself on this Sunday by getting involved in other people’s discussions on Twitter. If you want me to stop this intrusion try starting a direct conversation with me. Any subject accepted
Wow. My first block. After a reasonable discussion about the merits of a comedian. Why does comedy instil such apparent anger in some people? Since when did we all have to have the same opinion?
[If you wish to understand the full story of this block you can read my article on it at http://vinceunlimited.co.uk/twitterall.htm#twitterblock]
[I tweeted a screen grab from a second hand selling App that advertised a Jaguar car with a photograph of the front of a BMW. Unfortunately the Jaguar description wasn’t included so readers of the Tweet may be a bit confused]
The Jaguar F-Type has surprisingly close resemblance to an old BMW
[I tweeted a screen grab from a second hand selling App that advertised a BMW 3 series Haynes manual but posted the picture upside down]
BMW 3 Series workshop manual. Australian edition

26 March 18

[I was watching University Challenge on TV]

Would have been Oxford vs Cambridge this week but they were tired after all that rowing #UniversityChallenge
Lots of programs about the #Queen of late. Were schedulers expecting something dramatic a few months ago?

29 March 18

I’ve said it before so I won’t say it again
[I was trying to get a response, asking me what I had said before, but I had no response]

1 April 18

Just a warning that there are some Russians hacking this service. Just watch out for vit6 ;;:-!£7₽8!ghjg7@»•gv;d()£?)&—]#‰*~€€æímmmö
Here is my Easter Message...
Where is my egg?

3 April 18

I’ve run out of things to say. Except, of course, to say that I’ve run out of things to say
[I tweeted with a screen grab from WordPress showing the stats]

Great start to the month on my WordPress site. Day one - 4 views, 4 visitors, 4 likes
Now if I could only find a wider audience. By which I don’t mean fatter

4 April 18

Right now I’m thinking I’m the only thing in my life that can’t be updated

5 April 18

If I don’t tweet on a day don’t worry.
Oh, you weren’t
Some have asked what internet presence I have. Well, a website, a WordPress site, YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn and technically still MySpace. But not WhatsApp or FaceBook. And definitely not Twitter

6 April 18

There’s some people I steadfastly follow despite them not doing the same to me. They know who they are. Oh, wait. They don’t

8 April 18

It’s 2:56 so methinks it’s time to put Twitter away in a box or something

9 April 18

Million Likes
[That’s what a million likes on Twitter looks like]

11 April 18

Britain’s Got Talent without Ant?
Bit harsh.
And from an old friend as well.
#BritainsGotTalent #AntandDec #antmcpartlin #DeclanDonnelly

13 April 18

Spending my day off on my computer. Updating my website and WordPress blogs, general corrections, backups, iTunes and podcast updating, iBooks coordination, email archiving and other miscellaneous things. Or to the uninitiated - Stuff
Question to the motoring Twitterati. If the two cup holders between the front seats are arranged one behind the other which one should the driver commandeer?
If it’s going to be another Cold War should the government be issuing jumpers?

14 April 18

The U.K. has carried out air strikes. What has the air done to deserve this?
There’s a big, hot, yellow orb in the sky. Not sure what it is yet. I’ll keep you informed #sunshine

16 April 18

Beware of the validity of all Tweets over the next few days because of Russian #cyberattacks. Do not believe anything you read.
Particularly this tweet
[Somebody 'brake checked' me on a motorway but thankfully I was alert to it]
If you are driving slowly on a motorway then pull out of your lane straight into the path of a faster car about to pass you, who has sounded their horn, the appropriate action is not to do a sudden and forceful brake check. You are a first order mutt and lucky to be alive

20 April 18

A mate of mine told me he had an f in maths. Which explains why he failed his English

21 April 18

It’s not funny having to use the loo late in the night. Particularly since they removed the stand up stage in there
It’s the #queensbirthday She’s 92. Or 184 in Queen years

23 April 18

Is #EarthDay related to Simon Day or Robin Day?
It’s St George’s Day. The patron saint of never having been in the country

28 April 18

I'm suffering from adjective amnesia. I just can't describe how it feels

30 April 18

[A government minister made a claim that they were not aware of immigration targets so the opposition called upon them to immediately resign]
I didn’t know about UK immigration targets either so I plan to resign with immediate effect
I’ve always wondered. Do they sell Pepsi in Cannes?
It’s#NationalGardeningWeek so expect something in about 4 months time
Could @BBCMoreOrLess explain why ice cap melting will raise sea levels.
If you melt ice in a glass the level drops

2 May 18

Traffic light controllers of Southampton. You really need to take a long hard look at yourself and ask - Can I really not do this better?

5 May 18

[I embarked on a Norweigian cruise with my wife. And several others including the crew of course]
So far on this cruise we have quaffed and mustered. So not a normal day at all
So far have been on board for about two hours and have not yet eaten anything. Diet is going well. Expect changes
Now underway. Expecting to remain not underwater
Now have to dress for dinner. Apparently one cannot dine au natural

7 May 18

And finally we hit land. It has been purgatory as our provisions have been severely tested. We are nearly out of caviar
We’re in Bergen. No, not a rucksack
Have invested in a Hop-On Hop-Off bus. That is to say a ticket for the bus because the bus was too expensive. So far have had one of each types of hop
Been right up a funicular. Oo-er madam
Found some WiFi on the Hoppy Bus. It had been left under the seat by a previous user. I think. At least my photos and videos are now safely in a cloud, somewhere over Norway
I’m honest as the day is long. So I’m really bad when the sun sets. These days of the midnight sun are going to be tough
So my verdict on Bergen. I’d give it a solid 7. Out of a sloppy, destabilised ten
Surprisingly good 3G signal in the middle of a Fjord. Will report again if we sink about whether it is as good underwater

8 May 18

A new day. Furthest North we are prepared to go this week because we are not on an ice-breaker. It’s Olden. No, me neither
What’s great about cabin 4205 is all the different places you can make love. And it’s so conveniently located to get back to your own cabin afterwards

12 May 18

[I tweeted a screen grab from my smart phone showing my current location, well inland]
Back from our cruise and I wake to find we have docked. In the New Forest somewhere

15 May 18

[I tweeted a screen grab from a Mercedes-Benz car sales window pamphlet showing the S-Class as reduced from £3,439,900 down to £34,299]
Either this is the bargain of the day or it was considerably overpriced the first time around

16 May 18

[I was feeling increasingly frustrated that my original content had so few views and next to no interaction which was the complete opposite of most posts from publicly known faces who often tweeted complete rubbish]
I’d like to make an apology to all #Twitter users out there who come across my unique, original interesting and/or amusing tweets or interactions, who look to follow me or RT only to discover that I’m not actually famous so feel unable to interact. I’ll try to be worse for you
This Tweet is not pinned. And what’s more will never be pinned. So read it now while you still have the chance. Don’t say later that I didn’t warn you. It’s in your hands

17 May 18

[The imminently upcoming union between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle was causing huge traction on the site]
A year ago #MeghanMarkle would have been a bad hand at Scrabble
You have now tried to make a word out of #MeghanMarkle haven’t you?
It’s fantastic that many natural non-English speaking nations embrace our language but they could try to use the word certainly more often. For sure

19 May 18

On #RoyalWedding day crowds gather in the UK to celebrate a coming together two of the most well loved in their field. Yes, it’s the #FACupFinal today #ChelseaFC #ManUtd
[enough of the hashtags already]
[Mrs Beckham was filmed at the Royal Wedding with her usual trademark sour expression]
Looks like Victoria Beckham has just learnt that Geri Horner is due to sing at the ceremony #RoyalWedding2018
The #bbc #RoyalWedding commentary team appear to know fewer celebrity names than the misses and I
My #RoyalWedding outfit is...
I will be severely disappointed if, during the #RoyalWedding ceremony, James Corden doesn’t start a karaoke session. Plus, if he does the whole congregation will be equally disappointed
My misses is furiously flicking between #bbc and #itv #RoyalWedding coverage desperately trying to see if anyone wants to show a Horseguard or something similar
My scores on the #RoyalWedding so far is just 10% on the pomp and 15% on circumstance
So #MeghanMarkle arrived in a Phantom IV
Great if #PrinceHarry arrives in a Phantom F-4
Best moment of the #RoyalWedding so far is #PrinceHarry turning up in a #MercedesBenz Vito. Classy
I wonder. Is it an Uber?
Looks like a parade of turtle wax at #Windsor today
OMG The bride is wearing a dress! The internet goes bonkers #RoyalWedding
During the #RoyalWedding no one dare object or #PrincePhilip will get his buckshot gun out
[Invited Bishop Curry delivered an over long and enthusiastically noisy sermon]
The #RoyalWedding ceremony moves solemnly into the signing of the vows. The church goes quiet.
That #RoyalWedding sermon will be available on a #bbc podcast later. Played over just ten episodes
The #RoyalWedding pomp & circumstance level has exponentially increased
[The TV coverage mentioned that the Royal Couple will from now be known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex]
Have #PrinceHarryAndMeghan just been given #Sussex as a #RoyalWedding gift?
As the new #RoyalWedding couple pass slowly through Windsor half a million people stare intently into their six inch phone screen and think to themselves. Didn’t actually look at them but I do have a blurry portrait mode photo

20 May 18

Oh no! I missed World A Day #WorldBeeDay

21 May 18

I knew that when I joined a stonemason’s S&M club that I had reached rock bottom
I’m rocking all over the world.
>Which reminds me to get the suspension sorted
I’ve never had so much email since the Data Protection Act was replaced by GDPLGBT, or whatever acronym they have come up with

22 May 18

Things could be worse. At least you are not on FaceBook at the moment

24 May 18

Windscreen wipers always want to have the last say. Why do they need to do ‘one more wipe’ when you switch them off?

26 May 18

Question? #MonacoF1 How do they measure tyre wear on a slick tyre?
[I tweeted a screen grab from a brochure for the new Jaguar E-Pace with an interior shot and caption reading ‘At 4,395mm long, the E-PACE has an exceptional interior. With room enough to seat three adults…’]
An impressive 4,395mm of internal space allowing this four door SUV to seat up to THREE people. The guy in the back must be huge
[I tweeted a screen grab from a Jaguar brochure which included a quote including ‘…My favourite model is the XJ [a standard 5 seat saloon]. I’d love to take it out for the day and drive around the countryside in it with my two grown up children and four grandchildren…’]
Yes, you would love to take out an XJ with your two children and four grandchildren. If only they did a 7 seat option
[I tweeted a screen grab from a Jaguar brochure which included a quote about ‘Rapid Charging’ stating ‘With a 50kW DC rapid charger…the i-PACE can achieve up to 168 miles of range per hour’]
168 miles of range. Per hour. Wow, is this the fastest electric car?
My thanks go out to #Inchcape #Jaguar and their digital magazine copywriting team for their rich source of amusing pieces

30 May 18

Hey #VictoriaLIVE if we can’t pay off the UK National Debt with the £400m why not pay the debt of a third world country. Maybe one which helped contribute to the success of WW1
There’s a 12.7% chance you won’t believe this statistic

2 June 18

Hey #bbc #TopGear I could do Tuesday afternoons if it helps
Well, I put in the password it was asking for and everything seems to be wor3?&gkk g gmh@ hx!@ h
[There was a news story about a glitch in VISA credit card payments]
Double the trouble for those trying to use a #Visa card to pay for a Visa

7 June 18

I list out my top ten #Room101 choices on 4 Jun which includes hypocritical censorship as occasionally epitomised by the #DailyMail and a few days later #PaulDacre resigns. Coincidence?
Right now I am bivalent

8 June 18

Can’t wait for #iOS12
#FaceTime with 32 people is incredible.
Now I just need another 31 friends and I’m there

9 June 18

Due to an administrative error the #Queen has awarded me a Gonk

14 June 18

So #churchgoers live on average six years longer. Another six years not getting to #heaven then. Typical #God move
[Before a previous football competition a story made some traction about an octopus who's random movement choices were studied to see if they could predict a future match win with some apparent success]
Who’s going to win the #WorldCup2018 ?
Where’s an octopus when you most need one?
My money’s on #Sweden to win the #WorldCupRussia2018
I don’t think they’ll win but my £2 is on them in the office sweepstake
Go #Swede

15 June 18

There used to be so much sex on the television. It’s all in the past now. What with the uptake of all the flat screens

16 June 18

All #Worldcup2018Russia matches should include an animal player based on their national emblem. Today in #FRAvsAUS we would see a chicken play a Kangaroo

17 June 18

A #Volvo estate sporting a “Think Bike” sticker. Is this the definition of #irony?

26 June 18

I’m going to have a Social Media free day. Not today obviously. I’ll let you know when.

27 June 18

Started reading the instructions on my old Superglue bottle. Now I just can’t put it down

28 June 18

Ban #plastic #straws.
Say no to convenient plastic #carrierbags
Love the #environment
*Purchases two plastic #England flags to flap about on car door and fall off on the way home
[Everyone in England right now]

3 July 18

Today history will be made
#ENGCOL #itvworldcup
Like every other day
One more each and they’re level
#COLENG #WorldCup2018 #itvsport #FootballMania

11 July 18

[Harry Kane and Harry Maguire both scored in an important international football match]
Prediction for late #2018 Most popular boys name to be #Harry
#Kane #Maguire #Prince
#itvsport #ENGCRO #WorldCupRussia2018
It’s coming home,
It’s coming home,
..gone back out again

15 July 18

[France won the World Cup]
It appears that futbal’s arrivé a la domain #WorldCupFinal

17 July 18

I never understand why car buyers don't remove the dealership's advertising sticker slapped on the rear window. When looking rearward it's as if the world has been partly redacted. But I suppose this assumes they do actually look out of the rear view mirror at times. Sighs

19 July 18

It’s #flyingantday
And I forgot to get a card
Searched #Clintons

23 July 18

Before you start questioning why I haven’t been posting any new Tweets lately you should ask yourself, have you read all the existing ones yet?

27 July 18

The #BBC has mentioned #ScrollFreeSeptember in the news today. A campaign to get youngsters to put down their phones in September. I don’t think that’s how the internet generation work. Run the story on the last minute of the last hour in August

7 August 18

I think I have officially switched. I now watch more YouTube than broadcast TV. Broadcast will only get me back when their schedules entirely comprise of sub 5 minute clips of computer tech, comedy and car shows
I have a sty in my eye and it really itches. Must be the tiny pigs snuffling around

15 August 18

Is #SocialMedia dying? Or is #AntiSocialMedia taking its place?
And, more importantly, will many of today’s young women eventually be called Aunty Social Media?

16 August 18

Decided to form a band playing exclusively in cake shops. I guarantee that in five years we'll be huge #NationalTellAJokeDay

29 August 18

#AstonMartin are talking of floating on the stock exchange. Floating Aston Martins? They have changed
Forget #Trump #Brexit and #LondonHousePrices the burning issue of the day is answered in my latest posting. Do I like Cucumber?
Find out the definitive answer at http://vinceunlimited.co.uk/index.htm or http://vinceunlimited.co.uk/mobile.htm if you are looking on a phone, or a cucumber

31 August 18

So #CocaCola buys #CostaCoffee for £3.9bn Would’ve been more with a biscuit
[I tweeted a screenshot from a car advert that read ‘We are pleased to offer for sale this immaculate Lotus Carlton only 4500 miles from new possibly the lowest mileage car in the world!’]
'4500 miles. Possibly the lowest mileage car in the world!’
Delivery mileage on new cars must have gone up considerably.

2 September 18

Watching the #Burghley Horse Trials and am well impressed by the cross country abilities of the horses. Though not perfect as there is nowhere to mount the iPhone and no USB sockets on a horse

12 September 18

#AppleWatch Series 4. I haven’t even seen the first three series on Netflix yet.

14 September 18

The #ChurchofEngland gets into a spat with #Amazon Unsurprisingly, as Amazon promises next day delivery and we are still waiting for the Church to deliver more than 2000 years on

15 September 18

Often the precision of technology is frustrating. For example if I need to add an event in my iOS #Calendar app I can add a time or an ‘all day’ thing but not a task that needs to be done ‘sometime’ during that day. Despite this being a usual human way of doing many things

2 October 18

With the change in law in England and Wales about heterosexual #civilpartnerships can we now formally call marriage uncivil partnerships?

3 October 18

It seems Prime Minister #TheresaMay has announced the end of #austerity Excellent, I feel more wealthy already

20 October 18

The misses asked me what the advertising slogan for a #Volkswagen #Tiguan was. I didn’t know but suggested - ‘The Volkswagen Tiguan. It’s there if you want one’

29 October 18

The government are to authorise millions on filling in potholes. And when the money runs out they will use Tarmac #Budget2018

31 October 18

The U.K. Government and the opposition keep arguing about the way to end austerity. Allow me to assist. It’s quite simple. The way to end austerity is with a y

6 November 18

Given that they have all been multi-millionaires for a few years now isn’t it time to admit all the #SpiceGirls are posh?
Things in shops without descriptions are priceless

13 November 18

Hey @BBCNews Why are you sensationally reporting news that the current #Californian #fires are the worst in history? They are devastating but you forget the earthquake fire of 1906 in #SanFrancisco that killed 3000 people

16 November 18

The new #johnlewisadvert is great with a simple message that Christmas could be wonderful provided you just buy #EltonJohn a piano

23 November 18

Not everything is reduced on #BlackFriday My email box is bulging
I’ve decided to do a #BlackFriday2018 deal on my website. You can now view 20% more pages for the same free price as before. Go to http://vinceunlimited.co.uk for this fantastic limited time offer

26 November 18

If the #EU insist the #Brexit deal is the ‘best and only deal’ then doesn’t that mean it is also the worst deal?

27 November 18

How much does it take to ‘break the internet’?

0% - Over 10 

0% - At least 327 

0% - About 49 billion

0 votes

5 December 18

Did a Tweet #vote about how much it took to break the internet and got no votes. Conclusion: The internet is broke

17 December 18

New Referendum Question: The Government, who struggled to get an agreement on how to leave the EU despite knowledge on the subject ask you, the people, who claim to have no information, to advise how we should now act even though you cannot agree on anything amongst yourselves”

18 December 18

I’ve been writing & performing some Open Mic Stand Up comedy sets. And they were filmed by my lovely wife. My horrid wife refused to help but the lovely one said yes saying “That’s bigamy.” Yes, jokes as bad as that at: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKfB1CzjYz1UPjPXPgZ7fN_3vWA6QaQYL … via @YouTube

25 December 18

News just in. You may have missed this but today is Christmas Day. Sometimes known as Xmas Day. So, please be kind to those who use phrases such as Merry this, Happy that and Seasons whatsits. Hope everyone is fed up* with bins full of present paper waste.
*[in the eating sense]

Author: Vince Poynter
Curated: Version 5.325 29 Oct 2021
Tweets First Published: On Twitter during 2018