2017 Tweets - An Explanation

I joined Twitter at the beginning of 2009 and had made a summary of the best Tweets from that year under the title Primary Tweets. I did the same again for the year 2010 under the title Ten Tweets, in 2011 as 3rd Year Tweets, 2012 as Tweety Twelve, 2013 as Thirteen Tweets, 2014 as Twitter 14, 2015 as 2015 Tweets and in 2016 under the title Twitter Break. Because I had a bit of a break. But now came 2017. Or at least it did in 2017.

Although fairly comprehensive this is not a complete reposting of every Tweet and Twitter interaction that year. You will need to visit my @vinceunlimited Twitter Feed to get absolutely everything.

Finally, for those without the time on their hands to read the whole story I have also created a 'Best of 2017 Tweets'.

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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.315 24 Jun 2020




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Best Tweets of 2017 - Half Hearted: My Twitter Story of 2017



Ten Best Tweets from 2017

For those of you that just like the best of the best I have curated this list of my top ten best Tweets of 2017. Based on my personal choice, not based on views, likes, comments or retweets. They are in no significant order other than date of posting.

My exit poll...
Con 28.9
Lab 6 carat
SNP Chickens
UKIP 4 maids a milking
Rabbits win
As accurate as the official exit poll
Don't know what all the fuss is about. I had an electric car years ago. A Scalextric
Seen on a headstone. Stand back. It's catching #NationalTellAJokeDay
Ahh Saturday mornings. Like a Sunday morning only a bit earlier in the week
Put a security camera in one of my garden ornaments
(Note that all views are my Gnome)
Why are the #Brexit talks taking so long? Is #Google Translate really slow?
In the eighties there were only two certainties. Death and faxes
Nothing wrong with dog farms as long as they are planted far enough apart #itv #GMB
You know, I’m at that age where the only thing you really get at #Christmas is older
It’s #BoxingDay and unfortunately for me I’ve been teamed up with Mike Tyson

Have I picked the ten best? If you want to know the full story of my Tweets in 2017 just scroll down.

Author: Vince Poynter
Curated: Version 5.315 24 Jun 2020
First Published: Twitter during 2017



Half Hearted - My Twitter Story of 2017

This is the story of my 2017 Tweeting Year. Or at least the most remarkable ones.

Note that once more this collection will be more enjoyable if you start off on the understanding that this is not a reputable news agency nor a travelogue or a load of pointless lifestyle snippets. You have to understand that this is a random take on a variety of eclectic subjects mostly in an attempt to extract a bit of humour in each carefully written, crafted paragraph.

All the entries posted below are [mostly] exactly as they were posted online, contemporaneously, without rechecking spelling, grammatical corrections or censure, due to a desire to maintain historical accuracy. However I have added an odd explanatory [word, letter or sentance] to make sense of some situations as they appeared at the time.

If you have been following my Twitter story you will know that my enthusiasm for posting had waned in 2016. I felt self conscious about that so used the chance of a new year change to restart my contributions, with typical humour.

1 January 17

Just woke up after a year asleep. Did I miss anything 2016?
Haven't got used to writing 2017 instead of 2016 yet

This was Published just six seconds into the new year.

There's going to be a new 12 sided pound coin in March. March. Will this be called the Brexit Coin? #BrexitCoin

5 January 17

The Economist seems to be rewarding Theresa Maybe. So far her performance seems a C- at best

9 January 17

My reach on Twitter is now so low that even if I replied to a @realDonaldTrump message I wouldn't be trolled

I wasn't trolled. No one replied or commented.

So, having proved my point about being anonymous here I guess I can pretty much say what I like.
...
Beavers!

However it seemed that my re engagement may have been a bit premature and the tweet indicated the possible reasoning behind my hiatus. I sought a proper 'final tweet' worthy of my own high standards. Note the tweet was exactly the maximum 140 characters. Just like my first ever Tweet was.

Well it was fun flying with you for a while but the air has become contaminated and I suspect more turbulence ahead. Time to land. Goodbye x

Then I had another break from Twitter, this time for five months. Eventually pressure came this time in an interesting upcoming General Election.

2 June 17

Must. Start. Tweeting. Again.
Time to take off. See you in the air soon…

3 June 17

So, I had a quick look around Twitter to see what you have all been doing lately… Really! You should be ashamed
Is there anything more delicious than a Double Decker?
(Also overheard from Godzilla)

6 June 17

Is there any truth in the idea that Mac Pro sales are being bolstered by an application of padded mesh and being re-marketed as a HomePod?

7 June 17

Remember today's the last day you can claim you haven't got enough information to vote despite all the widespread campaigning & news reports

8 June 17

Britain is going to the polls. So often the other way around
My exit poll...
Con 28.9
Lab 6 carat
SNP Chickens
UKIP 4 maids a milking
Rabbits win
As accurate as the official exit poll

27 July 17

Don't know what all the fuss is about. I had an electric car years ago. A Scalextric

16 August 17

Seen on a headstone. Stand back. It's catching
#NationalTellAJokeDay

1 September 17

Media getting excited about a record £1.4bn spent on football transfers. So what, it could be £10bn. It's only being recycled around.

2 September 17

I always strive to be a considerate and obedient citizen. So I tend to see notices as instructions, not warnings. The sign said 'Wet Floor’

26 September 17

The #LabourPartyConference #safeSpace is where the economy goes when John McDonnell turns up #itvnews

30 September 17

I can finally reveal what was #somethingBIGinSeptember
It’s the launch of my brand new website design, version 5
http://vinceunlimited.co.uk

1 October 17

Spent the day de-bugging.
My website, not the bed

10 October 17

Stuck behind a woman selecting a pack of cigarettes. “Light blue one” she shrieked but hardly any colour. Should’ve said “The diseased lung”
With cigarettes is the diseased lung variant better than the thickened fatty arteries?

11 October 17

It’s #NationalComingOutDay
I remember when they said it wasn’t compulsory
Don’t pronounce the d
#WednesdayWisdom

13 October 17

It’s #WorldEggDay
So I’ve had a flu jab

20 October 17

Who is the target customer for an M&S Bank mortgage? Don’t they already own all the property? Or are those beige anoraks going up in price?

28 October 17

Ahh Saturday mornings. Like a Sunday morning only a bit earlier in the week
Forget the #JFK files. I want to know about the L, M, N, O and P ones

12 November 17

I can finally use up to 280 characters on Twitter. So, just like a #Marvel film then

20 November 17

Put a security camera in one of my garden ornaments
(Note that all views are my Gnome)

22 November 17

It’s #TheApprentice
@Lord_Sugar "It’s an eleven billion a year industry"
Nine highly qualified, skilled, business leaders add to this total over the next three days
It's now an eleven billion and three hundred pound industry

24 November 17

Why are the #Brexit talks taking so long? Is #Google Translate really slow?

27 November 17

In the eighties there were only two certainties. Death and faxes

5 December 17

Nothing wrong with dog farms as long as they are planted far enough apart #itv #GMB

25 December 17

I never use #Hashtags to #Promote my #tweets as I think this is #blatant #ClickBait behaviour
#Christmas
You know, I’m at that age where the only thing you really get at #Christmas is older

26 December 17

It’s #BoxingDay and unfortunately for me I’ve been teamed up with Mike Tyson

Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.315 24 Jun 2020
Tweets First Published: Twitter during 2017