First things first. The future may be bright but it won't be orange. You see some things are easier to predict than others. For instance I'd have difficulty predicting next weeks lottery numbers but I'll have a go. 4, 12, 36, 37, 40 and 42. Let me know if you win.

So here are my predictions for the future.

Prediction 1 - Spumps [made September 2005]

In the future speed humps will be called spumps. I am confident of this for three reasons. Firstly, they are a fairly new phenomenon and therefore ripe for a bit of slang. Secondly, the merging of two words into one is a common way of abbreviating and 'spumps' is a good merge. And finally, I bet you won't be able to resist repeating this. In other words the publication of this word has set its use in motion.

Prediction 2 - Cookery Explosion [made September 2005]

In the future, when all the hard working couples of today retire they'll have more time on their hands and one thing that they'll take up is cooking. They will have more time to do this but soon realise that they are sadly out of practice. Being cash rich they will take up classes to learn how to cook well. So my prediction is that there will be an exponential growth of adult cooking class attendees.

Prediction 3 - Perpetual Websites [made September 2005]

In the future egoists like myself will want to will the responsibility of maintaining their presence on the Internet to a trustee. I predict that there will be a market for perpetual web hosting. Currently, and other derivatives such as are still available for purchase. You heard it here first.

Prediction 4 - Face Transplants [made September 2005]

In the future face transplants from deceased celebrities will attract bidding wars. Other face altering transplants and procedures will become routine and identities will be freely swapped. This will lead to societies' reassessment of identity and people will be judged on who they are plus what they can and have achieved and not by looks, which will have become stale and androgynous. For further argument refer to the Opinions section under Face Transplants.

Final Prediction [for now] [made September 2005]

In the future one, if not more, of my ideas will spawn a fiscal return. Click on the Ideas link above and try to guess which one.


Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.113 15 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 in Sep 2005