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Monster Storytelling - A Screenplay Treatment

Please note that this is an incomplete fiction about the discovery of the Loch Ness monster. It was written circa. 1995 after seeing what effects could be achieved with the film Jurassic Park in 1993.

However, continuation of the story was sadly abandoned when the big screen movie, starring Ted Danson, called Loch Ness appeared in 1996.

At the time of writing the author has never seen the aforementioned film so any coincidences are purely that. Coincidental.




Loch Ness

By Vince Poynter

Photograph of a Jaguar XJ8 parked on the shores of Loch Ness
A monster at Loch Ness

The story is about a man, who after a bad argument with a long standing lover, treks off to get some peace and quiet. He travels to Scotland and ends up near Loch Ness.

Whilst looking across the Loch he notices something move. It turns out to be nothing but driftwood, until he turns away...

He books into a local hotel, recounts his story and is amused by the stories of Nessie and of the local's stories in the bar. The stories grow more absurd as the evening wears on and the drink flows.

He begins to notice an attractive American woman staying for a few weeks in the same hotel, as a great niece to the landlord, but the drink and his memories of his recent lover cause him to be more embarrassing than attractive.

To seek solitude he spends some time near the Loch and again spots something. This time he is certain and decides to investigate further.

He tells the woman but she is less than impressed, dismissing his sightings as drunkenness. Only an old man seems to agree with his thoughts.

The men agree to search for the monster. Next morning they hire a set of diving gear from a local watersports centre and despite never having dived before set off, on a hire boat, to search the depths.

After several hours, suffering from cold and with faulty dive equipment they decide to abandon the search. A storm blows up and they set back only to have their boat blown to a remote part of the Loch near an unusual landmark and capsize.

In the dark and severe weather the two struggle to grab driftwood to survive. A darkened shape comes from the depths and the man tries to take a photograph or two but the old man is suffering and attempts to rescue him become a priority.

The attempts are fruitless and the old man is lost. The man tries in vain to keep himself afloat but starts to sink. He is just losing consciousness when he is accelerated at high speed through the water.

The next morning the woman is strolling across the beach and finds the man washed up on the shore. As he recovers in her bed he recounts the story.

Whilst his story is too far fetched for her to believe she begins to fall for his charm and as they console themselves about the fate of the old man they embrace and begin to fall for each other. They are rudely interrupted by the landlord who on hearing the story decides the police should be called.

In the Police Station the man is given a hard time about the loss of the old man and responsibilities given the huge depths of the Loch and the dangers of weather.

Whilst he is at the inquest, giving evidence about the circumstances, the woman receives the post, which contain the man's photographs. She rushes them to the inquest and presents the evidence.

A local reporter, an evil man, awakened by the thought of fame, causes a disturbance and steals the photos. The next day the papers and news are full of the story and the reporter is given top publicity.

Within days the area around the Loch is totally transformed.

Multi-million pound projects are commenced with the thought of huge publicity rewards. Major sponsors advertising boards are put up everywhere and the character of the place is wrecked.

The man and woman are horrified by the invasion of the world's publicity and are hounded by reporters whatever they do, particularly the evil reporter. They hear that the monster will be hunted at any cost and see explosives being off loaded and used to cause sonic shock waves. A submarine is airlifted into the area and flotillas of the locals boats are used to trawl the Loch.

The man and woman decide that they need to find the monster before anyone else. The problem is that they realise that they wouldn't stand a chance given the searching power of the rest of the teams. They need a head start and the man recalls the landmark he noticed just before capsizing. They set off to find the landmark.

The landmark is at a far end of the Loch and when they discover it they find some wreckage of the boat.

They look into the water and see the monster, which appears to look back at them. By moonlight the sight is wonderful but is interrupted by a helicopter with big searchlights, carrying the evil reporter, plus many approaching boats.

The man and woman disguise the find by quickly removing their clothes and going for a swim to distract the hunters. The hunters leave the two in peace and head away to search another part. Inevitably, the man and woman make love on the shore, the monster diving around in the background.

Next morning, over breakfast, the two plan to disrupt the search by discrediting his original story.

They realise that this could jeopardise the original claim of an accident but they figure that the risk is worthwhile. They decide that the first thing to do is move the boat debris to another place.

They drive to the place where the accident happened, collect some debris and take it to another part of the Loch. They return to collect more but whilst doing this they are spotted by the evil reporter who follows them to the site of the accident.

As he steps from his car he gets a gun out of the glove compartment. He follows them to the shore where he confronts them.

An argument ensues about the morals of discovery and financial gain against destruction of the local environment. A struggle occurs and the woman is shot in the head.

The man is about to be shot by the reporter when he dives in the water. As he struggles to hold his breath underwater and swim to a safe place the bullets fly through the water around him.

He suddenly notices the monster nearby which when startled by a bullet dives off toward the edge of the Loch and disappears. He follows, parting the underwater plants and discovers a large hidden underwater shaft. He realises it is his only hope and swims down it.

Meanwhile the reporter, realising what has happened, cleans off his gun and throws it down near to the woman and drives off.


You will have to commission this story to see how it ends.....


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.049 2 Jan 2018
Written circa. 1995
First published: Version 1.01 Jan 2004
The image depicts a monster at Loch Ness, the monster being the author’s large Jaguar XJ8 photographed at Loch Ness in 2000. It was added in Version 5.049 2 Jan 2018