The Foodie Page

Hi. You have arrived at the vinceunlimited Foodie page.

The Foodie page is a new section in the vinceunlimited universe designed to collate all the relevant stuff off the site for a particular type of reader, in this case you, a connoisseur of food and drink.

This page is in development, with the pages from 2003-2005 being added and in time it will be fully populated with all the food and drink ideas, writing and articles found within the whole of the vinceunlimited restaurant.

You can find the articles by the time honoured method of reading them all or you can use the menu option, using the vSearch titles below.

If you feel moved enough to add anything, why not drop me a vMail and have your say.

Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.127 5 Jun 2018
First published: Version 5.044 22 Dec 2017
Earliest articles: Dated from Version 1.00 in Oct 2003



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Coloured Chocolate - Food For Thought - Sweet Tea - Tea [Poem]




Coloured Chocolate

Colourscrumptious

A partially unwrapped standard Terry's Chocolate Orange
A Terry's Chocolate Orange. The rare brown version

For years my favourite colour was brown. Even now I cannot decide on a suitable replacement.

Red seems so obvious and more interesting colours like burnt orange are too obscure and would mean I would spend all my time explaining why I chose that hue.

But brown is considered so bland. It is the colour of the country when all the lovely greenery gets trampled and the washed out colour that multiple shades of plasticine turn to when mixed.

Mind you, real fresh conkers are the most beautiful tone...of brown. And brown is the colour of chocolate, one of the best discoveries man ever made.

Chocolate is traditionally brown presumably due to the natural colouration of its main constituent, the cocoa bean. But most other foodstuffs can be coloured so why not chocolate?

And I know by now you are probably screaming at the screen that white chocolate is as common as the Milky Bar Kid in a top ten list of cheesy, spectacled children in TV adverts. But one alternative, sickly option is hardly a rainbow of choice.

Why can't we buy red, blue or even purple chocolate?

Why isn't a Terrys Chocolate Orange orange?

Kids would go crazy for the new hues, tempting them back into a snack that has been increasingly sidelined due to the modern obsession with skinny [I think chubby oiks are like that due to lack of exercise more than bad diet].

So Cadburys, Nestle, Terrys et al get your cochineal out and colour that choc.

Incidentally, I'll know when my idea has fully matured. Not when I can get strawberry chocolate in red but when I can specify my own shade.

And at that point I'll choose fresh conker. A gorgeous mix of browns.


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.127 5 Jun 2018
First Published: Version 2.03 in Apr 2006
The photograph shows a Terry's Chocolate Orange and was taken by the author and added to the website on 11 Jun 2018



Food For Thought

Vince Poynter sat, tucking in to a Pot Noodle, with a female friend in the background
Yummy, yummy, yummy. This is going to [temporarily] fill my tummy

I purchased a Pot Noodle from Tesco today.

This is not a regular thing now but I used to have one or two when they were first introduced.

This quite unremarkable fact would have gone unreported, even in my detailed blog, other than the fact behind me in the queue was a chef. I knew this fact from his dirty, white, wrap-around top and silly check trousers.

He saw my Pot Noodle and I could see his mind visibly sighing.

He was buying a pile of fresh ingredients and I'm sure was about to produce a masterclass in scrumptious eating.

My sad fast food option was clearly letting the side down.

However, I did think that if this chef was clever enough to have thought up the concept of my humble snack he wouldn't be in Tesco now looking down his nose.

It tasted delicious.


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.107 26 Apr 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 21 Sep 2005
The photograph shows the author tucking into a Pot Noodle and was taken around 1985. It was added to the website in Version 5.107 26 Apr 2018



Sweet Tea

A Refreshment Revolution

Photograph of the author in a suit serving tea to a table full of pensioners whilst some workers look on
One lump or two? I said, one lump or two!? Oh, never mind, it's turned out nice again

I love tea.

But then again I am supposed to. I am British.

I even wrote a prose on the subject.

Admittedly, the way I take it - black, weak and with one sugar is a little unconventional. If it is an inviting, red, watery, sweet liquid where you can clearly see the base of the cup I'm a happy bunny. The taste is so subtle, not disrupted by the artificial thickness of bovine mammoidal fluid.

I learnt to appreciate the subtleness of tea as a drink after a Japanese restaurant supplied me with green tea. An oriental fusion of hot water with bits of their garden chucked in it. Strange to the eye but welcome in the mouth. The Japenese have been drinking it like this for hundreds of years before they told me. How inconsiderate is that?

This ancient heritage can be easily traced because in essence tea has hardly changed since the first chinaman boiled a pan of water in autumn. That is why the British love it. We are superb at tradition. So much so the developments in tea distribution have been few and far between.

For a start there was the tea bag. A major revolution. And then. Well almost nothing.

Except tea bags of various shapes offering dubious claims to increase efficiency. I don't even want my flavour to flood out. I take it red ferchrissakes.

So when I came upon this idea I thought I could claim a landmark. A revolution in tea making. A quantum step no less.

Will they name it after me?

Like all good ideas it is simple and comes from need.

Recently, I tried to make a cup of tea but there was no sugar. Someone had used the last of it and all that remained were a few grains amongst the coffee granules.

Little interim note, if you have coffee with sugar - put the sugar in first so the spoon doesn't contaminate the sugar. That coffee granule really spoils my weak tea. And I'm tea total, I never drink coffee.

Anyway, back to the case in point. I wanted a cup of tea and there was no sugar. I looked at the teabag. If only the sugar was already in it I thought.

One of those little lightbulb thingies illuminated over my head and there it was.

Tea bags, containing tea and sugar.

A marketing edge.

I even have the logo. "Sweet tea's the one for me".

Do you have the ability to turn this into a consumer product with me? Tea bag and sugar producers click away.


Links


Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.039 15 Dec 2017
First Published: Version 1.00 in Oct 2003 and reproduced here in full, unedited
The links were added in Version 5.039 15 Dec 2017, along with the image which depicts the author serving afternoon tea to some pensioners whlst some co-workers look on
Links to 'Tea' poem added in version 5.040 17 Dec 2017



Tea

By Vince

A nonsense written in 1992


A photograph of Vince with a tea mug squatting in front of a row of white Mercedes-Benz E Class cars

When I get up in the morning,
I really can't stop yawning,
Until I've had my first of the day.
And before I sleep at night,
I insist on my right.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

I usually have it at ten.
Two hours later, one again.
That usually keeps me going until three,
When I need one more,
Or maybe two or three or four.
What would I do without my cups of tea?

Well, what did you think I was on about?

In a pub I'll not touch beer,
Or sip a sherry on the pier.
I wouldn't touch a spirit with a pole.
Coffee makes me sick,
And Horlicks gets on my wick.
So you could say that I am tea total.

And when I get old and die,
And meet my maker in the sky.
I'll say to him ... or her, "Just before we settle down.".
Can I have a cup of char?
'Cause I haven't come this far,
To a place where no tea's served in the town.

The morale of this tale,
A tale you all know well,
Is that, if you ever meet me in the square?
Offer white, with just one knob ... of sugar,
Or else you'll have a job,
Persuading me to join you for a chat. So there!


Links


Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.040 17 Dec 2017
Written in 1992
First Published: Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The image depicts the author holding a tea cup whilst squatting by a row of new, white Mercedes-Benz E-Class cars, taken in Jul 2013. It was added, along with the tags, in Version 5.040 17 Dec 2017