It's logic Jim. But not as we know it.
Where can you find me? Only at the centre of the universe. That's where.
It is a brave statement indeed to make a claim that I can be found at the centre of the universe. Even more foolhardy to state that I can prove it. But I am and I can.
Firstly you need to understand and accept the concept of infinity. It is quite easy this bit. Infinity in terms of distance is a very long way away, then a bit more. Kind of like further than that beer on the coffee table when you are slumped in front of the TV. Even further away than your chances of dating a Hollywood megastar, unless you are another Hollywood megastar of course. Or a film producer. Or a thousand dollar hooker of course. Anyway, you get the picture. Infinity is such a huge number that when applied to distances I wouldn't like to drive it - Not without a comfort stop.
Now, if I were to move forward, as far as possible, to the edge of infinity it would take me...? Let's see, about the same time as it would if I were to move backwards at the same rate to the edge of infinity. I shall call that time X. No, I won't, I'll call it Gerald, other people always call it X.
Anyway, in Gerald, travelling at a constant speed I could reach the edge of infinity from any direction I please. Infinity is the same distance, up, down, front, back or even sideways. Whether you are on a pushbike, in a sidecar or a space shuttle travelling at twenty six times the speed of Gerald.
If this is the case I must surely be right slap-bang in the centre - Of the Universe. Point proved.
Now, all I have to do is prove that I'm also immortal. That one could take some time.
Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.008 18 Oct 2017
First Published: Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
Slight editing and image added in Version 5.008 18 Oct 2017