The vinceunlimited Home Page

Welcome to the developing, wonderful world of the vinceunlimited website, now in it's fifth iteration.

More and more articles are being added every week, some on a daily basis, so please re-visit and refresh the page regularly to keep up to date with the latest posts.

So browse the old mouse on some words and you'll get in-site jump links or rodger your rodent on a big blue button to fly off immediately to the named specialist page.



Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.120 25 May 2018
First Published: Version 5.000 29 Sep 2017



No Flying Aircraft

Another blog from the archives...

A photograph of the back of my wife in a red tee-shirt and beige cap stood on a balcony just as a nine plane Red Arrows jet formation flies past, trailing their blue, white and red smoke
Lynda, dreaming of a fast jet ride in a Red Arrows display

Today, on one of my local radio stations [we seem to have so many nowadays] someone won a popular competition to spend a day with the RAF Red Arrows.

Ideally this would have been a chance for me to trounce the opposition with my witty entry and win this prize for my beloved.

She has always hankered after a high-octane ride with a naval airman but taking a seat with the Reds would tick most of her boxes.

However, presumably due to the elderly demographic audience of this particular station, the winner will never get to travel in an actual jet. Instead the frustrating day would include attending a pre-flight briefing and chatting idly to the technicians.

How infuriating would that be? So close yet no banana.

It would be like winning the supermarket dash and finding all the shelves empty, or playing football at Anfield after the crowd has left, or visiting a lap dancing club and leaving before the bits are bared.

Intolerable.


Links


Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.120 25 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 16 Mar 2006



Bad Blog

Another blog from the archives...


Been having trouble getting back into the blogging groove due to allowing the work/play balance to become decidedly unstable over the last few months, which explains the gap between entries becoming a colossus.

It didn't help that I constructed an entry a couple of days ago then accidentally wiped it off my thumb drive.

But I am still here and raring to go. Only I've got a sudden bout of writer's block.

Or to put it in a less authoritarian way, can't be arsed.

Which all makes this entry the most anti-climatic blog in the whole of web history.

Which, if you think about it, is actually quite interesting.

Were it to be true.


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.119 24 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 15 Mar 2006



Bit Of A Gap

Another blog from the archives...


Hooray. I'm back.

It seems that I left you all alone for a while there, in fact nearly three months. At this rate I'll never make blogger of the year.

The reason for the absence has been, as it always is, work related. I was assigned a fresh role that allowed me to work locally. The lack of three or more hours a day commuting on a train meant that I never seemed to find time to update my site.

And there was you thinking that version 3.0 was about to be launched on an unsuspecting public. Mind you, if you thought that the site was about to be launched then the public was not at all unsuspecting and better described as anticipatory.

But I diversify, as ever.

The break from writing my site hasn't subdued my thoughts on what needs adding and updating and I'm always thinking about new ideas and concepts. The only trouble is that by not getting them in print when I think about them can mean that others stumble on the idea.

For example I have been giving some thought recently to the idea that the baby boomer generation, who seem to run the world, may not accept death and we may all soon benefit from everlasting life.

After all this is the generation that invented youth culture, foreign holidaying for the masses, major home ownership, the dot com age, fame, celebrity, greed, modern fitness and leisure pursuits and now cosmetic surgery to keep their youth.

They are suppressing real youth by dissolving upcoming celebrity and sexualising and thus diminishing the young, both male and female.

They hold power positions, wealth, fame, patents and property.

They make the laws to suit themselves, hence the freedom of the eighties is being replaced with the ASBO and spy-camera culture of the current decade to protect them as they get older.

In short they believe the world is theirs and don't want to pass it on, even to their own children.

Mark my word, the next ten years will see frantic developments in anti-ageing treatments and not just skin care products. Plus huge rises in pensions including suggesting the young retire much later than they had to.

Unfortunately some of this content was also considered by a journalist writing in a real paper recently. In Bryan Appleyard's article in The Sunday Times on 27 November 2005 he discussed most of these points. What a swizzle.

Down, if not out.

Still, there's no point in dwelling on what ifs when there are a host of new ideas bubbling in the cauldron. You never know, I might get some of them down in pixels by Christmas.

Christmas 2006 that is. Have a festive one, Vince


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.118 23 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 22 Dec 2005



Well Executed

A screenshot, with lower relection effect, of the vinceunlimited website versions page, version 2.02
In those days all websites looked like this. A screenshot of my website, version 2.02

Well the 2.02 version of the site was launched with the usual lack of fanfare and ticker-tape.

Compiling a site like this is a thankless task.

However, I'm in it for the long run and recognise that all this early effort will, one day, be recognised and appreciated in the way that it has been designed.

First up I had to reconfigure this blog section so that there were useful links to my past blog sections.

Now I'm all properly set to mesmerise you with my blogging thoughts. This blogging lark* will prove to be useful to my regular readers as it may be some time before the next proper update is compiled.

There are three reasons for this.

Firstly I am being reassigned at work [no, not gender-wise] and need to settle into my new role in a professional manner, secondly I always plan to update bi-monthly to give myself a reasonable target and finally, because I want my next update to raise the game significantly. More on this later if it comes to pass.

One reason for my re-assignment is the imminent conclusion of a current task that I have been working on for a client.

The last job to be done is create an Executive Summary compiling all the raw data that I have produced over the last few months.

Whilst doing this I was moved to consider why they are called Executive Summaries. Surely an Executive, having achieved such a high rank, must be able to absorb facts and data in a manner better than others.

Therefore the summation should be entitled Idiot Summary. I feel the fact that it isn't proves the real ability of Executives.

Finally, I read in the papers today that a firm has developed a tracksuit for that automatically monitors performance and provides instructions to the wearer about training regimes and performance.

This reminded me that my intelligent shoes idea is not so far fetched.

*Is that related to other Larks I wonder?


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Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.117 22 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 29 Sep 2005
The photograph shows a screen grab from the vinceunlimited website, version 2.02. It was first added to the website in Version 3 on 29 Mar 2010



Intelligent Shoes

Thinking on your feet

The world of fashion footwear is a major business. Each season top name manufacturers compete to produce more outlandish designs than their previous models and peers. There must be millions spent each year on designs to wow an eager public and develop bold, innovative ways of capturing the cash of a world-wide audience.

So why is it that I can come up with a novel idea and offer it to anyone whom cares to patent it? Along with suitable commissions of course.

It's because I'm such a nice guy.

Although training shoes seem to have developed to their zenith there are still ways to make a version stand out from the crowd and like all good ideas it is just an amalgamation of two previously unconnected current products - hence easy to develop and market.

My idea is to mix footwear with pedometers.

Pedometers are simple counting devices that work by a weight shifting about on each movement. After basic data is inputted the wearer of the device can calculate the distance covered and often more, such as calorie use and average speed. All this data is important to an image conscious fitness fan.

And techno fans would love a pair of shoes with an inbuilt LCD panel.

Of course, restricting the idea to training shoes would be underusing the technology so a range of different shoes could include a mini-computer.

As is the pattern of idea development it is wise to consider the downsides.

Cost shouldn't feature as pedometers often cost just a few pounds and shoes, in particular training versions, attract buyers even when the cost soars.

So the only downside is the potential big-brother factor.

Consider for a moment that the Post Office likes the idea and supplies all its postmen with versions. The daily trips could be monitored. Bonus paid on distances covered or deducted for skipping a street. Although in fairness skipping does take more energy! We already have spies in our vehicles do we want them on our feet?

And one last thought. Could this develop into the chastity belt of the 21st century?

Develop the idea into other areas of clothing and put a monitor on the spouse's underwear. Then check when you get home how often they have been up and down.

Now, sex, that is a major business.


Links


Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.116 21 May 2018
First Published: Version 2.02 in Sep 2005
At the time of writing my idea was genuinely novel. However with the passage of time the idea of attaching pedometers to sports shoes now seems commonplace. In fact the first and most notable example of integration between sports footwear and a pedometer came in the form of the Nike+iPod Sports Kit which was announced on 23 May 2006 and released on 13 July 2006, three quarters of a year after I published my idea. Coincidence?



The Radio Text Idea

Cheap Texting - Saving a fortune on text messaging

by Vince, March 2004

An image of a simple mobile phone with small dot matrix type screen
A typical budget texting mobile phone that was used around 2004

As a writer I am still able to wonder at the beauty of the English language and I derive pleasure from ensuring that my work is grammatically correct.

This is why I so despair at the gradual erosion of our beloved language into a staccato of symbolic minimalism that is the result of modern texting. I view the technique as a lazy result of our modern immediate society.

But all that will not prevent me from profiteering from an idea based on this new trend.

From what I read in the media one of the most common places to find texting on a frankly industrial scale is within schools and I understand that even the youngest of kids is keen to get going. The net result is a phenomenal profit for the big telecomm companies at the expense of the poor parent's wallets.

So I have devised a way of texting within schools for free.

The idea emanates from a two-way radio I purchased. The radio itself was pretty useless at the task that I wanted it for so it was consigned to the eBay bin but a feature interested me. The radio included a button labelled Morse.

After discounting the fact that this might summons a policeman from Oxford in a tatty Jag I thought it wouldn't be too hard to develop this into a simple radio frequency text facility.

A simple keypad and chip could translate the keyed entries into Morse Code and send them through the airwaves. The receiving machine could pick up the Morse and translate it bk in2 txt.

Dmn, I swor I wd nvr do tht.

There would be a couple of technical hurdles to traverse.

The first to spring to mind is the problem of limited transmission frequencies but the chip could incorporate a simple encoding key.

Another problem could be the relative speed of keypad entry compared to the standard speed of Morse Code but there is no reason that if it is an inter-electronic communication that the Morse couldn't be transferred at higher speeds. In a way the dashes would become mere dots and the dots a blurry dash.

Do you know what? I'm cming rd 2 this txtg idea aftr all.

In hndsite u cud cnsidr it a nw art form, clevrly constrctng new smpler ways 2 cmmunic8 evr mor rapidly. Englsh has movd on frm Shkspere an we shld mov on frm the stffy grmmar of r parnts.

Ys, Im hookd.

Not.

So, the options are as follows:

  • You are a budding Engineer and want to develop the idea and deprive the giant Telecomm Corporations out of millions of pounds making yourself a fortune into the bargain - Email me and we'll thrash out the patent details.

  • You represent a giant Telecomm Corporation and want to bury this idea - Email me and suggest a sum of money that would encourage me to remove this idea from cyberspace.

  • You are an expert in grammar and want to correct the syntax on this page - Email me nicely.

  • Links



    Author: Vince Poynter
    Version 5.115 20 May 2018
    This idea was first penned in Mar 2004, well before the age of unlimited calls and texts. The lack of reference to Bluetooth functionality in the article suggests that I was unaware of this technology at this time. Bluetooth was first announced on 20 May 1988 and the Bluetooth 2.0 specification in 2004 with variant 2.1 not being adopted until 26 Jul 2007
    First Published: Version 2.02 in Sep 2005



    Predictions

    First things first. The future may be bright but it won't be orange. You see some things are easier to predict than others. For instance I'd have difficulty predicting next weeks lottery numbers but I'll have a go. 4, 12, 36, 37, 40 and 42. Let me know if you win.

    So here are my predictions for the future.


    Prediction 1 - Spumps [made September 2005]

    In the future speed humps will be called spumps. I am confident of this for three reasons. Firstly, they are a fairly new phenomenon and therefore ripe for a bit of slang. Secondly, the merging of two words into one is a common way of abbreviating and 'spumps' is a good merge. And finally, I bet you won't be able to resist repeating this. In other words the publication of this word has set its use in motion.

    Prediction 2 - Cookery Explosion [made September 2005]

    In the future, when all the hard working couples of today retire they'll have more time on their hands and one thing that they'll take up is cooking. They will have more time to do this but soon realise that they are sadly out of practice. Being cash rich they will take up classes to learn how to cook well. So my prediction is that there will be an exponential growth of adult cooking class attendees.

    Prediction 3 - Perpetual Websites [made September 2005]

    In the future egoists like myself will want to will the responsibility of maintaining their presence on the Internet to a trustee. I predict that there will be a market for perpetual web hosting. Currently, www.webperpetually.com and other derivatives such as .co.uk are still available for purchase. You heard it here first.

    Prediction 4 - Face Transplants [made September 2005]

    In the future face transplants from deceased celebrities will attract bidding wars. Other face altering transplants and procedures will become routine and identities will be freely swapped. This will lead to societies' reassessment of identity and people will be judged on who they are plus what they can and have achieved and not by looks, which will have become stale and androgynous. For further argument refer to the Opinions section under Face Transplants.

    Final Prediction [for now] [made September 2005]

    In the future one, if not more, of my ideas will spawn a fiscal return. Click on the Ideas link above and try to guess which one.

    Links



    Author: Vince Poynter
    Version 5.113 15 May 2018
    First Published: Version 2.02 in Sep 2005